For the new year, I offer a new perspective on your most consequential relationship.  No not your significant other– this isn’t that type of blog. 

Your boss, your most lucrative client, or your business partner directly influence your career satisfaction.  And let’s put it on the line, they also directly affect your compensation – at least in the short term.  As a result, these relationships can be emotionally loaded.

I recently published an article for Leader’s Edge, titled Imperfect Boss? Perfect Opportunity. on reframing your interactions to your best mutual advantage.

                    Web Link:    Imperfect Boss? Perfect Opportunity.

                    PDF link:        

People spend a lot of time worrying about their boss.  Who does he favor? Does she steal my credit?  Will I get that promotion?  Does any of this sound familiar?

Yet, there is little discussion about feelings in these relationships where two people are interdependent for their livelihoods, but one is clearly in charge of the other person’s role, recognition, and rewards. 

What if you shifted your concerns and differences to a positive and practical mindset?

Problems with your boss mean problems for your career.  Boss solutions yield career solutions.
 
Agreed, your boss is in control from a financial and organizational perspective.  You may not be able to change your boss, but you can change your attitude and goals related to your relationship. 

You gain immediate power by calling to mind reasons to feel gratitude, and acknowledging areas of positive influence.

In a great line from the film Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise implores his would-be football star client, “Help me…help you.”  You can take the same approach with your boss.  The more win-win experiences you establish, the more you gain.

Whether you seek to take your relationship from strained to good, or from good to glowing, a positive reframe benefits you in three ways:

1. Adds to your sense of achievement and self-esteem.  Anything you accomplish that happens to help your boss is also part of your permanent track record.
2. Puts you on the same team.  You’re worried about your boss?  Guaranteed she is worried about her boss too. Or, she is worried about the Board.  When you are both working toward the same goals, you combine energy rather than wasting it in a power struggle.
3. Demonstrates to everyone around that you are an asset.  For others on a project team, your boss’s boss, or the guy interviewing you for the next high-powered job, if it is clear you scored a win for your boss, you are instantly more desirable to have on their side.

In my coaching practice, I give clients ten minutes of a session to download everything really awful they have to say about their boss.  Then we start shifting from angst to emotional neutrality to begin a win-win mindset, and maybe even reach a state of “tactical admiration”.  In the article, I share this approach to help you towards a more productive relationship with your boss. 

Yes, you can use the same method with clients or colleagues.

                    Web Link:    Imperfect Boss? Perfect Opportunity.

                    PDF link:        

If you would like to ask any questions or share the results of your experience with this approach, please contact me, Stefanie Smith, Executive Consultant and Coach.